Marriage and Friendship and Shared Activities

My parents did everything together. Never a night apart. If one was ill, the other stayed home. When they went out they went out together.

My ex appears for two days at Christmas and he buys the drinks and sends me off to buy food. If I query or try to discuss anything he's buying, he demands, 'Who'd doing this job - you or me?'

But new friend has another plan. We have twenty shared activities, ten of which we want to do, and ten which don't want to do, chosen by the other person. We each select ten activities which we want to do, but which take the other person out of their comfort zone.

My best holiday when I was single when I was with a girlfriend. Our plan was we each chose one activity we each liked but the other didn't. Then a third from a list of activities we both voted for.

That way we did not miss out on anything we liked. But both did what we wanted two thirds of the time. I think that's best.

I've heard of marriages which broke up where one person vetoed what the other did. Usually it's the man who decides. One couple only ever went on holiday to Spain. Others won't ever eat at an Indian restaurant because he refuses to eat spicy food or be stuck with one choice eating omelettes. I like the three list system. What do you think?